JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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