she smelled like a LAN party
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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