Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
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Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
there is glitter all over my balls
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