I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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