We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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