She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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