I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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