i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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