dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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