I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize