i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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