AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize