census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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