just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
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You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We smell like vodka and hangover
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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