well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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