she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize