If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
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I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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