Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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