my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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