CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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