Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize