Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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