All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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