Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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