I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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