just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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