Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize