don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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