you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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