ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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