i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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