No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize