OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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