It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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