So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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