I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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