walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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