well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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