I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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