whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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