I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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