Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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