Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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