a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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