My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize