I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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