Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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