Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need moral support for this bender
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize