Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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