Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize